why oh why

First of all and for the sake of my own self-loathing I have to say that 2 things posted on the same day do not make me a loser or a dork.  Because for one thing just because I posted the last thing today doesn't mean I actually sat and wrote it all (if youda read it, you woulda knowed that, dude) and for another thing there are about 497 other things that make me a loser and a dork before the having posted twice in one day.

Besides, this one is happening after midnight, so it will look like a tomorrow post.  But then I'll have 2 posts for tomorrow since I love me a good ole (Not So) Wordless Wednesday.

I have just spent this significant portion of a text box explaining why I'm not a loser and a dork... Reason #498?

So... back to why I'm writing another thing today/tomorrow.

I am what I like to think of as a ferocious reader mainly because I like the word ferocious and I like to sit for long periods at a time reading and contemplating my own ferociousiness (and it makes me feel like a lioness).  Actually, that's not true since the only thing I usually spend any amount of time sitting and doing is something like what I'm doing right now or reading other people's what-I'm-doing-right-nows.  The main time that I do my reading is before bed.  My dad lent me a Louis L'amour novel a couple weeks ago and it was amazing, but as it seems to happen with most books, I ran out of pages.  Meanwhile, ye olde hubby got me started watching the John Adams HBO series, which was also amazing and inspired me to start reading David McCullough's John Adams biography.

::Momentary Digression:: I am not one to use the term "bad Biblical-terminology-for-a-donkey," but if I were, I would say that Abigail Adams was totally that.

::Second Momentary Digression:: Were you aware that the Adams' daughter Nabby had a mastectomy with no anesthesia because oh.my.gosh.  It was so gruesome I had to look up more info on the internet.

So, I read, oh, about 2 and a half pages of that and decided that it is not the kind of froofy bedtime reading to which my brain has become accustomed, so I promptly removed the bookmark and decided to wait until I was feeling a little less shallow.

Which leads me to my present state of distress.  I have been a few nights without a book on my nightstand and am feeling totally lost and alone in the world, so before laying down tonight I sat down on the end of the bed and stared at my bookshelf.  I have a couple of new books from Christmas, but neither of them appealed to me for now.  I have dozens of others which I've already read and reread but wouldn't necessarily be opposed to reading again... it just didn't strike my fancy.  So, giving up on that option, I checked under my nightstand for my latest copy of Cookie, but I just wasn't up to that tonight.

A word about "Cookie Mag: the Stylish Parenting Magazine for the New Mom." I received a promo thing in some of my new baby stuff after the kiddo arrived offering a cheap-o subscription + some kind of "sneak it in" cookbook + a bag, so I went for it.  The magazine seems to be a lot of adds for Burberry, Gucci, Prada, Ugg (Children's Place and Gap, too, to be fair... although I consider Gap to be out of my price range as well because no way is girlfriend gonna shell out $50 for jeans) interspersed with lots of eco-friendly, liberally-slanted, celebrities-talking-about-what-motherhood-has-done-for-their-self-esteem, ditch-your-kids-for-the-weekend-and-have-lots-of-sex-or-your-marriage-will-disintegrate hoo hocky.  The cookbook was interesting, but the kiddo is a good eater, so I don't really have to "sneak stuff in," and since we don't really do tofu and bean sprouts... And oh yeah, the bag is nice... I use it for library books.  So, it's not a total wash.  My favorite thing ever in these magazines, though, are the clothes they show actual children modeling as if an actual child might actually wear them.  One in particular showed a little girl in a little jumper that I'm pretty sure I could make and she was leading a goat around.  The little jumper that I'm pretty sure I could make cost like $500-ish dollars.  Because, ya know, I would buy my kid a $500 article of clothing and then I would definitely encourage her to go play with the goat.  

Wal-Mart, people.  The brand is Garanimals and since no article of clothing costs over $5, I'm pretty sure some goat activity could be smiled upon.  As long as it was a nice goat.

........

And so here I am, typing away a lot of nonsense of absolutely no importance to anyone who may or may not (more likely) read this... at 1 in the morning.  Because I couldn't find anything to read tonight.  Or for the past few nights, actually.  And so I've developed this delightful habit of bringing my computer to bed.  So not cool... bad for my eyes, bad for my back, and probably bad for my husband's perception of me.

Anyway... I've been trying to read Esther a little at a time so I can finally read Beth Moore's study on it since I've had it and it's been under my couch for a couple of weeks now, so maybe I'll hit up a couple of chapters before turning out the light.  Or maybe I'll see if I can find some more haut goat couture.

P.S. I've recently discovered this stuff... and my cuticles are smiling at me because of it.