Not me! Monday

Time to broadcast to the world all the ludicrous and possibly embarrassing things I absolutely did NOT do within the last week.  That's right, ladies and gents, it's "Not me! Monday." I know all my minions out there in internet world are just positively aglow to get another peak into my imperfections, but don't hold your breath because there is no way in heck I did the things I'm about to expound upon.

First of all and just to put everybody's mind at ease about the quality of activities I come up with to entertain the kiddo... I do not ever drag the vacuum cleaner out just so he can push it around and make vrooming noises.  Furthermore, there is no way that I would ever stick in back in the closet without, ya know, plugging it in, turning it on, and actually doing some much-needed floor cleaning.

And since the kiddo insists upon "helping" when I clean the lavatory, I have not settled for keeping him OUT of the toilet instead of AWAY from it altogether.  After all what kind of mother would let her child put his hands anywhere near the john?

I should also point out that I am not a backslidden bum who laid out of Wednesday AND Sunday night services.  Really, I'm not.

Just to include ye olde hubby in this time-honored Monday tradition... he definitely did not take a sick day on Friday and then go out for lunch with me and the kiddo before his doctor's appointment.  He also did not go wander around Sam's Club for a half hour or so while waiting for his prescription.  Because, ya know, sick people tend to stay in bed or at least at home.

Something I never do when we visit either of our parents houses is pretend that I'm so engrossed in something that I fail to notice the kiddo wreaking various types of havoc and just let the g-parents deal with it.  That would be totally irresponsible.

And finally, since I actually DID get up early enough to get my daily Bible reading in before church on Sunday, I know it definitely was not the fact that I had to read PostSecret before going to get ready that made us late to Sunday School.

...

Oh, and I'm not ever the least bit of a hypocrite.

Cheers!