25 February 2009

Oh bother...

Here's a not-comprehensive list of the well-meaning (maybe) advice and comments I received when I was pregnant with the Kiddo:

1. "Your life is never.going.to be.the same."
This one doesn't get me as much as the tone with which it was often delivered.  It was almost malicious... almost in I'll get you, my pretty... and your little dog, too! fashion.  So, did these people want to make me dread parenthood in general? Are they really so miserable in their parenting roles that they actually relish in the idea that another couple is going to be pulled down into their tar pit? And besides that, doesn't it seem kind of asinine? I mean, we were adding another human to our household... it kind of goes without saying that the family dynamic is gonna change.

2. "Are you sure there's only one in there?"
I'm huge.  I get it.  From what I've read, that's supposed to happen.  Let's move on.

3. "Just you wait until you get into your third trimester, you won't feel so great then."
Again, the malevolence! The unpleasant woman who said this to me might as well have gotten up in my face and shook her finger at me.  I'm truly sorry that some women don't feel the greatest when their pregnant and, at this point, I can sympathize, but that doesn't make me want to rain on another woman's parade.  Because, really, who does it help?

4. "You better enjoy sleeping now because once that baby gets here, you'll NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!"
Once again, doesn't it seem kind of obvious that my sleep patterns are probably going to be affected by a person whose pineal gland has never been fully affected by daylight and dark? And NEVER? Really? It's beginning to feel like people really want me to be scared of my child.

5. "Once you're in labor, you're gonna want the drugs."
We all know where I stand on this and what ended up happening with the Kiddo's birth, so I won't re-hash it.  I have to add, though, that of all the times I heard this particular comment, my favorite was when I heard it from a young, unmarried woman with no children.  And, yes, she did actually say it like she knew something I didn't.

6. (and similarly) "Once you're in labor, you're gonna be screaming and cussing at David and you won't want him anywhere near you."
Ugh.  No comment.

7. And here's my favorite ever... it was actually a conversation which took place between two older ladies as if I were nowhere in the vicinity:
"She looks swollen, doesn't she?"
"She sure does, and not just her ankles either... her face is swollen, too."
"I think she should probably see her doctor to make sure she doesn't have... oh... ummm... whatever that is that messes with your kidneys."
"Preeclampsia?" I interjected.
"Yes, preeclampsia," they both replied.
"Yes, I think she should definitely ask her doctor about that."
*This conversation took place at an outdoor baptism in mid-August.  It was about 347 degrees and had been for the past 2 months.  And I had already had tests for preeclampsia more than once at that point.


Now, to switch gears just a smidge, here's a list of things I've heard during this pregnancy so far:

1. "Boy, are you gonna have your hands full."
*See the previous #1.

2. (directed at the Kiddo) "Getting a little brother or sister sure is gonna clip your wings." or "I can't wait to see how this one handles competition."
I'm not even going to get started on how much I hate hearing these sorts of things.  I have never even seen sibling rivalry in my family (at least not among actual children).  I'm not saying it doesn't happen or that it won't happen in our home; what I am saying is that it's never been put up with and it most certainly won't be put up with here.  And furthermore, why do people seem to want to see sibling being jealous of one another? It really seems like they enjoy it.  So, I got started.  But I'm going to stop now.

3. (and similar to last time) "You sure are gettin' a belly on you!"
This is my grandmother's very favorite thing to say to me.  I'm glad she told me because I was really beginning to wonder where my toes had gone.

4. I guess this is my favorite from this time around.  I fully expected to get a lot of "So, was it an accident?" or "Did you mean them to be so close together?" but we haven't really heard much of this.  However, pretty early on, this is what we got from one of my hubby's uncles:
"So, I guess you figured you might as well just go ahead and get it over with..."
Hahaha... yeah, somethin' like that.


My point in making these lists is to point out what I've never heard with either pregnancy:

1. "Your life is going to get sweeter the moment your child is born.  And it's going to get exponentially sweeter with every moment from that point on."

2. "You're about to find out that you're capable of loving someone more than you ever thought possible."

3. "And you're even going to love how your heart aches because you do love them so much."

4. "Oh, and there will be some hard times, by the way..."

5. "But it's oh so worth it."