07 April 2009

on the passage of time and foot pain

After all of this madhouse rush rush rush can't wait to have this baby and get it over with business, I nearly had a panic attack today when I looked at my "Countdown to Baby" thing on my other computer and saw that it said 28 days.  Because I'm relatively certain that it was maybe 2 days ago that it seemed to be stuck in the 50-ish days range.  So, of course, being the person that I am, I promptly set my focus upon making a list.  In less than a month's time, I have an alarming number of things to launder/clean/sanitize and probably an even more alarming amount of stuff to buy.  Especially considering the fact that we've been going to the doctor a lot these days and the hubby seems to keep forgetting to take the Flex Spending card with him.

Which brings me to another topic...

Hubby is home, by doctor's orders, until Monday.  Why, you ask? Because he has a sinus infection in his foot.


I'm not joking.

He has some kind of ergonomic pesto fentibular tendonitis in the arch of his foot and I promise I'm not making light of it, I just know it has a long technical-sounding name that I can't remember at the moment.  And besides I have no room whatsoever to poke fun at his medical freakish-ness since I'm apparently the only woman in the known universe (or at least known to
 my seasoned vet ultrasound tech) who actually ultrasounds better when my bladder is not about to erupt Old Faithful style.  We both have our own fun little medical anomalies.  

So, whatever this foot issue is actually means that there's a spot in this particular tendon that is highly prone to inflammation.  He sprained his ankle badly while he was in college and for some reason went to the campus health center, where the doctor's will diagnose you with a case of strep throat or pregnancy, instead of a real doctor who might have actually not have been confused by his complete lack of a red throat or a uterus.  Regardless, his foot hasn't been exactly right ever since then.  The first big flare up he had with it occurred less than a week before our wedding.  His father (who is more competent than the campus docs, but still no MD) diagnosed his problem as "the gout" from having eaten barbecue.


Again, not joking.

A couple of other times, he's caused a flare up by climbing ladders or something else that puts pressure directly on the arch of his foot, but the most recent flare ups (this one included) have been more mysterious.  Last July, after having had an incisional hernia repair surgery, his foot started hurting to the point that he barely noticed the 6 or 7 inch incision down his belly.  We thought that he had injured it while trying to reposition himself in bed by pushing with his bad
foot on the bedrail.  Finally, an orthopaedic doc came to check him out and informed him that actually, when a person has an area of their body that is prone to inflammation, any type of trauma or stress throughout your body can sort of "settle" to that area.

And so, in the case of this foot flare up, a really bad sinus infection ended up "settling" in his foot and causing the issues he's dealing with now.  He went to our family doc this past Thursday to get meds for the sinus thing and he went back again today to get meds for his foot issue.  And, the doctor told him to stay off work until Monday.

Which brings me back around to the original topic.  I think the reason I spazzed out when I saw that "28 days" on my countdown was because I was really thinking, "28 days?!?!? And I can't even count this week!" Because whenever Hubby is home and for whatever reason, I totally shut down and go into vacation mode.

So, by the time the holiday weekend is over and he goes back to work on Monday, I'll have
 more like... ummm... 20-ish days to go.  And that is really terrifying.  That's almost down to teen numbers.  And since I know I'm not going to get much of anything done this week due to Hubby's unplanned "vacation," that leaves me a WHOLE lot less time to actually get my list of stuff accomplished.

So part of the time I'm moaning and groaning about how slooooooowly time is moving and how I'm never going to have this baby and now some other times I'm worrying about how time is going too fast and I'm not going to have enough time to get everything done that needs to be done before the baby gets here.  Oh, and the rest of the time when I'm doing practically
 anything (brushing my teeth, doing laundry, reading, just sitting doing nothing and piddling on the computer, cuddling my son...) I'm dreading the fact that pretty soon I'm going to have time to do NOTHING (at least not without being interrupted often or having a baby attached to me, literally).

In the end, what I'm doing is spending way too much time worrying about, whining about, and dreading everything and not nearly enough time enjoying the time I have left in what could very well be my last pregnancy as well as what time I have left to make special for just my big boy by himself.

And in my heart of hearts I know that the things I want to get done will eventually get done and even if those things don't get done, they'll still be here waiting for me, new baby or no new baby.  And I doubt when I arrive home with my new bundle that I'll be super concerned if the
 floors didn't get vacuumed promptly before leaving for the hospital.  And even more deeply I know that time does not actually move slowly at all and that the new baby who I imagine will probably look something like this...

will, after I turn around maybe twice, will suddenly look more like this...

But enough of that bittersweet stuff...

In the end, I know I just need to get over thinking about the passage of time and get on with enjoying all of it... even being big as a barn, laundry, and foot sinus infections.


David April 8, 2009 at 9:10 AM  

It's because it was a Worker's Comp claim while I was working at WKU. They forced me to use Student Health Services...